no pants party
the no pants party was last night. the following things happened:
1. i got fucking WRECKED.
2. i wrote on my own stove in permanent ink, “robert deniro was in cape fear. he ate a bitch’s face off.” (pictured below)
3. the police were called 3 times.
4. cat shit everywhere.
5. stood on the stair railing and thrust my crotch in strangers’ faces while shouting, “it’s okay, i live here!”
6. kissed at least 6 people.
7. extensively kissed on one party-goer, who was wearing american flag underwear.
8. woke up w/o said party-goer in my bed, just his jacket, pants and shoes.
9. found said party goer asleep on my living room floor, atop 2 couch cushions, beneath a bolt of sewing fabric. he had gone downstairs for water, and was too drunk to remember that the house had three stories (my room is on 3rd story).
10. tapped the keg.
11. killed the keg.
12. NO. PANTS. ANYWHERE.
2 years ago • Notes